It's the Flippin' Apocalypse
So I'm convinced that the world is coming to an end. Besides all the obvious cataclysms and catastrophies happening around the world (which while dire and tragic, won't be discussed here cause I know you've already read enough about them elsewhere), things started falling apart on the local level early this past weekend.
First of all, there's been a rapist or two on the loose in our otherwise peaceful town. Which is what I thought of when suddenly the afternoon air was filled cop sirens and emergency vehicle horns; maybe they had the guy in pursuit or something. But I realized this wasn't so when an emergency unit appeared down our block with guys in chemical safety suits working on mysterious, black, plastic cases. Police barred anyone from walking down the street, directly outside our residence, and roped off the intersection. All this, combined with the news of bubonic rats in Newark, has put me a little bit on edge.
Being the weak, scared, and fragile creatures that we are, we followed the only rational course of action, and got furiously drunk. Apparently everyone has gone as far off the deep end as I have, which resulted in all sorts of fun, like this kid passing out partially in the garbage can, this kid thinking he's a ytmnd, and this kid playing the hair like a bongo.
I can't think of any better way to spend the apocalypse.